Sentiments of time later

Noah says and apologizes for spelling errors becaue his laptop is french:

"Vagabonding takes (traveling) a step further: it promotes the chances of sustaining and strengthening this positive attitude.  As a vagabond, you begin to face your fears now instead of continuously sidestepping them in the name of convenience.  You build an attitude that makes life more rewarding, which in turn makes it easier to keep doing it."  - Ed Buryn

Well, it definitely gets easier.  My attitude needs a touch of adjustment, though. I described to my friend the other day, after he asked how it is and how everything is going, as "Well, it's Paris."  These nearly three months have sort of slipped by me and I am realizing I'm not entirely content with how I've handled them all in all- I've done this before and that sort of honey-moon effect never really got to me.  It's been more of a struggle to push myself in to different things, which i love doing.

I'm not entirely sure what it is I'm saying - I almsot never am until I reflect on everything and look back at it, which is why I journal.  Right now I am faced with a decision: move out of my little but cozy expensive box on the 6th floor in one of the nicest (but not exactly central) neighborhoods of Paris to a place with roomates - 2 italians, a french and an english guy.  It's a real appartment, I could actually bike AND store my bike in the house. I live across the river now up the hill out of the way a bit...it's not exactly as practical for biking.  The other location is quite central.  Sounds like an easy decision, right?  Well, it should be, so I'm going to do it.

My classes are lackluster and unfulfilling.  I almost revel in the joy that comes from being able to talk to a tech support person for something in the U.S. over skype because I can manipulate the English language to serve my needs.  "Je parle avec l'air d'un enfant" is the truth.  At least my mental capacity is not also that of a child.    It's fun and intriguing albeit hideuosly annoying sometimes- not being able to express myself how I am used toor how I would like. (But that's why I'm here...)  I've been to two west coast swing dance classes now and, as I was writing down in my journal the new things I learned yesterday night, I was nearly home on the line 6. The line 6 goes over the river Seine and provides a stunning view of the Eiffel Tower.  Without thinking I had this brief feeling of not just being another body passing through this conglomorate of structures people cars and objects but a feeling of actually belonging or purpose...so, right now, I think I will continue to justify that.

It's really frustrating because the French culture does not really embrace superficial small talk akin to that many of us are familiar with in the United States...argument is a tool to understand each other better, not prove your point.  If you know me much at all really, you probably know that all you have to do is say one of many keywords and I will be happy to blabber endlessly about my thoughts on said subject and listen to yours.  The French seem to love that, expressing themselves and their idiosyncratic thoughts on said subject.  The annoyance is how much I would love to be involved but simply can't - not without the ability to express myself with some deceny in French.  I guess my standards are....refined, or something, or so said my friend.  I think he's right, and I think patience is the answer.  After all, I have another 7 months here to figure things out. That definitely does not seem like enough right now, though.